Hijabs and Heroes

I distinctly remember numerous pairs of overalls I would sport throughout my childhood. Even as the straps became hard to snap as I entered what my mom refers to as my "rolly-polly phase", I was still squeezed into those denim contraptions like the poster boy for tormented toddlers. When I was wearing overalls it was mostly because my parents had complete control over my fashion expressions. As I have grown up, I would argue that I've gained more autonomy in my clothing choices, but there is still one day of the week when there seems to be some tension around what I wear. On Sunday mornings, before I head off to church, I like to throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and walk out the door like it's any other day. My dad, on the other hand, likes to follow the phrase of putting on your Sunday best, and jeans are not considered to fall in that category. There have been many days when I walk out into the living room with jeans on and my dad will send me back to my room to change into something more presentable for church. Most of the time when this happens, I grumble and complain, but at the end of the day I do as my dad tells me to and I change into khakis or dress pants and we head out to church.

My story is one that doesn't garner much attention. I think that's appropriate because the simple act of choosing what pants to wear, even though it is determined by cultural values and norms, is just a part of everyday life for me. I'm glad that my clothing choices aren't picked apart by the media, debated by people who come from a different background than me, and that conversations over my clothing choices are usually open and free of judgment, unless we're talking about the overalls I used to wear.

Often times, this isn't the case with the hijab. Wearing a hijab is part of everyday life here, but often times the conversations surrounding it aren't very open. For some reason I can't understand, the hijabs worn by women everyday around the world have become a more controversial topic than the overalls I used to wear. The reasons for people to wear a hijab, niqab, chador, or any other form of covering varies, and I am by far not the best source for the conversations around this. It's because of this that part of me feels like I shouldn't write about these things, just like I wouldn't want anybody else trying to describe why I chose to wear what I do on Sunday. This is a personal issue to many people, and I think too often it has been misrepresented by people, well intentioned or not, who take it upon themselves to talk about these veils. Still, I think the most helpful thing for me in understanding the hijab has been to interact with people on a daily basis who believe that the hijab is a vital part oftheir lives. I can't speak for these people about their experiences with wearing the hijab, but I can speak to what my experience with them is, and hopefully that will help contextualize other stories about the hijab (just like I hope you contextualize the story of my overalls and don't judge me because of it).

I have four different professors teaching me this semester, and all of them are women. My courses with them include Arabic, a literature course, and a political science course. I have learned a great amount from these women. One of my Arabic professors took to teaching us some inappropriate words early on, and when I repeated them to my friends they were amazed that a professor would teach me these words. My other Arabic professor has taken large amounts of time to explain aspects of Islam to our class. My political science professor grew up in America and is now living with her husband and children in Jordan. My literature professor is the only one who does not wear a hijab and she's spent many classes both defending the right for women not to wear the hijab as well as defending those who choose to wear it. All of this is to say that women here who both wear the hijab and don't wear the hijab have a lot to teach us.

It isn't only professors that have a lot to teach. Just over a week ago I had a chance to attend a feminist theory course at the University of Jordan. I stood out a little bit in this class of fifty because I was the only man in the entire room. As the short hour long class unfolded it became evident that these brightyoung women had more to say than they had time to express. The women in this class unraveled emotions and thoughts in a language that wasn't native to them in a beautiful way. They debated the meanings of symbols in our short story, and talked about the outside forces they saw being forced upon women. The vast majority of the students were wearing a hijab.

I realized after that class that despite the conviction many of these women spoke with, I had never really heard their voices whenever I heard conversations about hijabs in the States. Later, I had the idea that I could write a blog post about it, so I asked some of my friends from the class what they thought was important for people to know about them wearing the hijab. Here's what one of my friends said about it:

" I'm a normal human being who loves to swim, read and go on adventures. I was not forced to wear it and I don't think many are. Everyone wears it for a different reason just like everyone gets out of bed in the morning. Some wear it as an identity; they want others to know they are Muslim. Others wear it religiously so that they can be modest, because it's part of their culture...Do I love wearing a hijab everyday? No. Some days are hard and I want to walk out of the house with my hair but I don't because it's a choice. It's the same as going to the gym. I'm not as motivated every day, but I still go and some days I love going to the gym and wearing a hijab. It has become part of who I am....Just because I wear a hijab it DOES NOT mean I'm going to judge you. I will respect you as long as you respect me...It doesn't stop me from doing anything. I actually feel like it gives me freedom. I want people to focus on what I say and not what I look like, I want my intelligence and what I have to say to be the most thing that matters...Bottom line, I don't care what anyone thinks of it. I wear it because I want to. I believe in it and think it works for me. You don't? Cool."

My friends have helped me realize something, wearing a hijab is sort of like wearing pants. Some days I don't feel like wearing pants, but I put on pants anyway. The reason I do this is because I think it's immodest to walk out of the house without pants on. Some people could say that society is forcing me to wear pants and that that is oppressive, but to be honest I feel more comfortable in pants and I don't really care what these people say. Having people focus on what pants I'm wearing, (whether they are overalls, dress pants for my dad, or just jeans on a normal day) instead of focusing on what I'm saying and who I am would be incredibly frustrating. Sometimes the pants I wear are determined by many factors, like religion, pressure from my parents, or how I want others to perceive me. The fact of the matter is, I don't want other people to be telling me the reasons why I'm wearing pants. Even when I change pants to please my parents, I don't feel trapped in the situation, I do it out of respect for my parents and because I love them. No matter what, at the end of the day the most important thing is not the pants but the person who is wearing (or not wearing) pants. Finally, each culture has expectations for what pants will be like. In our orientation packet to come to Jordan, it was suggested that men don't fill their suitcases with shorts because the only time men really wear shorts is to the gym, it's considered immodest to wear something cut above the knee for men in public.

As a final note on hijabs, I want to focus on some women who are heroes in hijabs. This summer I worked with Somali Bantu refugees in Maine. Upon coming to Maine, many families were struggling to make ends meet and adjust to new culture in America. One of the programs they started was a women's empowerment program*. Women started coming together and having open discussions outside of the influence of men. They would open up and tell stories of what had happened to them during the plight of being a refugee. This section of the organization is run entirely by Somali Bantu women for Somali Bantu women. These women have emerged out of a dark situation and have found ways to earn a living, manage finances, and express their power in a different culture. They have done this while holding true to the tradition of covering their hair, whether with hijabs or other coverings. These women are heroes, showing strength in difficult situations, and showing how what they chose to wear is an expression of who they are, not of what other people think they should be. So just remember in conversations about hijabs how many different people there are in the world who wear them, and how important it is to listen for the voices of these heroes instead of defining them by what they wear.





*http://www.sbcmala.org/womens-empowerment-project.html